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killed, or he grew tired of her? How would she survive then? That was the true barrier
between her and Kane. It wasn t her concern, especially considering the fact there was
no reason to be concerned. They were both in full mating heat, and she knew Kane s
physical discomfort was even greater than her own now. It showed in the tension in his
shoulders, the lack of sleep in his expression. He was killing himself. She was killing
him.
She lowered her head, shivering as she stepped back onto the balcony, feeling the
cold wind that whipped around her, but knowing the chill inside her came from much
more than the weather.
She was destroying them both, and Kane deserved so much better than that. He
deserved more than a woman whose dreams were often shattered by nightmares,
whose heart was scarred by a past neither of them should be blamed for.
And yet, she was still blaming him. She breathed in roughly, fighting the tears that
hovered just behind her eyes, that tightened her chest as the realization crystallized
within her. She still blamed him, not just for leaving her, or the loss of their child, but
for her own inability to get past the pain.
The sob that tore from her chest caught her unawares. The pain that ambushed her
soul filled her heart, tearing at the promises she had made to herself over the years. All
she remembered, all she felt were the needs. Not the sexual needs, the emotional. The
desperation when darkness fell to be held, to know the warmth of his body, to feel his
fingers stroking along her cheek&
He had done that once. She was only distantly aware of the soft sobs falling from
her lips as she remembered the one time he had caressed her in such a way. Just before
he had taken her that first time, knowing the cameras watched them, he had to have
known, even if she didn t. His fingertips had smoothed over her cheek as he stared into
her eyes.
 We play the game when we must. His voice had been so soft, so whisper-thin she
had barely heard him.  And we love however we can. I love you, Sherra& 
She wrapped her arms over her breasts, the cries that filled her soul escaping as
harsh whimpers as tears dampened her cheeks now. She hadn t flinched from him then,
she remembered. That touch had echoed in her soul even before he spoke the words.
And now, she denied them both the fulfillment that she knew could be found in only
one manner. In the acceptance not just of the physical, but the emotional as well.
Denying him was doing her no good. She could excuse it until hell froze over, but if
something happened to him, she would die anyway. Perhaps not physically, but just as
she had until she saw him again, she would die inside.
111
Lora Leigh
Wiping furiously at her tears, she drew in a hard, desperate breath as she blinked
back her tears. Kane was withdrawing, and if Merinus was right, then it was because he
was losing hope, just as she had lost hope so many years before. They had been apart
long enough. She had been alone so fucking long that she had forgotten why she hurt so
deeply inside her soul. She hurt because Kane hadn t been there. Because he wasn t
holding her, touching her, filling not just her body, but her heart.
But he was here now. This was the chance she had dreamed of in the darkest nights
when she refused to acknowledge why she awoke crying. This was the chance she had
prayed for in those dark days after the loss of the baby, when life hadn t seemed worth
living.
She had lost enough. It was time to take what was hers, and Kane was hers.
* * * * *
 Keep the sensors outside the caves. We ll wire them for sound and visual and
hopefully have more of a warning if another of the missile-toting bastards decides to
come calling. Kane was hunched over satellite images of the land the Breeds owned as
his unit stood around the briefing table in his room.  The images aren t showing the
caves we re finding, but if you look damned close, you ll see a shadowing instead. He
pointed out two of the areas where the almost imperceptible blurring occurred on the
thick pages.  These images were very carefully  fixed . So far, I ve found six areas that
need to be checked. Get three more units together in the morning and get started
finding the others. I ll brief Callan and Taber first thing in the morning.
 What about new images? Jackal asked him softly, his smooth voice breaking in on
Kane s thoughts.  The Army satellite that took these should have been able to give us
an idea of where the caves exited on both sides, as well as an idea of their tunnel
systems. What if we commission more images?
Jackal was as calm and cold as the deepest winter night. He had been one of the
first soldiers Kane had chosen for his team of rescue experts. He never became upset or
irritated. Never raised his voice. If you pissed him off bad enough, you were dead. It
was that simple and that quick.
 Same problem. Kane breathed out roughly as he fought to keep his thoughts
straight.
He should have been comfortable right now, he thought furiously. Instead of
chilling out with a beer and dressing in the soft gray sweatpants he preferred for
evening, he was suffering in heavy jeans and the hard-on from hell.
 Not really, his technical expert, Ice, spoke up then.  Lawrence Industries has their
own satellite orbiting Earth. Why not put the bastard to work after all the trouble he s
caused breaking our gate like he did? If he s really serious about wanting to be a part of [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]