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'No comet today!' remarked the familiar voice of Scrooge, the Laboratory storekeeper.
'I hope everything is in order, Scrooge,' Isaac Newton replied as he shook off the rain, 'no
raids on your storeroom?'
'Trust me to keep everything tightly battened down, Professor,' Scrooge grinned in reply.
Boulton from Geostrophics was waiting in Isaac Newton's office.
'You're missing a great chance, you know,' Boulton began.
'What would that be?'
'With all these people milling around the Lab! Reporters from all over the world! They'd pay a
tenner apiece without turning a hair.'
'Frankly, that never occurred to me. But then I'm doomed to die poor, I'm afraid.'
'Oh, I wasn't thinking of it personally. I was thinking of all the odds and ends around the Lab -
coffee for the assistants and that sort of thing. It's a perpetual drain if you don't watch it.'
'How are your German marks doing?'
'I was out of those a long time ago. Japanese yen are where you should be at the moment. If
I were you, I'd shift my Swiss francs into yen. Besides, the Swiss banks don't pay much
interest. Or you could think about the peso. They say it's likely to go up.'
'Or down, as the case may be. You sure you don't prefer the drachma?'
'That's a tricky one. It depends on the olive crop, and quite a bit on the nut crop, too.'
'I imagine it might.'
'The thing is that comet toys for children look like a good bet at the moment. I've been on to
one or two companies about it. We need a few ideas. It seems to be right in your line. I've
also thought about comet fireworks. But of course you don't need to come in if you don't
want to- except that it's always important to get in on the ground floor. Once everybody gets
interested it's too late.'
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272
COMETHALLEY
'How much would I stand to lose?'
'Oh, you wouldn't lose anything, because you wouldn't be risking anything except your
ideas.'
'That's a relief.'
'It's quite a chance, really. By the way, I'm thinking of buying The Ragamuffin. It's freehold you
see, so either the University or one of the Colleges might be interested in the land
eventually. But of course it pays for itself as a going concern.'
'Then why would anybody want to sell it?'
'All sorts of reasons. Death duties, arthritis, aching bones as the proprietor gets older, that
kind of thing.'
'Have you ever thought of switching over to a chair in economics?'
'Not likely. Economists always lose money- the thing is a byword. You see the stock market
is really a zero-sum game, so if you win somebody else loses. Mostly it's the economists
who lose. To everybody's benefit. Even widows and orphans do very well out of them.'
Mrs Gunter, Isaac Newton's secretary, appeared in the doorway to announce:
'We have a visit from Mr Scuby on our hands, Professor.' Instantly Boulton was at Isaac
Newton's personal exit door, saying, 'Then I'll be on my way. Think about the comet toys. I'll
be on to Pocombe - he's in Chemistry - about the fireworks, I mean.'
Boulton the Professor of Geostrophics just managed to make his exit before John Jocelyn
Scuby, the Secretary of the Faculties, came in from Mrs Gunter's office.
'Might I ask if the figure who disappeared just now through the door .' Scuby began.
'Was Professor Boulton? In fact it was,' Isaac Newton replied to the incompleted question.
'I am almost impelled to chase after him. With remarkable skill he has evaded me nowi- let
me see, it must be fully a year since I was last able to track him down,' Scuby continued.
'I think he must have had heavy losses on the markets, in German marks.'
'Quite possibly. But it is not his personal affairs with which I am concerned. The turmoil in his
department is a grievous headache to us all.'
'Who is Pocombe of Chemistry?'
'The name is familiar but the connection escapes me, I'm afraid.'
'Could it be fireworks?'
'Ah! Fireworks. Yes, fireworks of course. Pocombe is something of
an expert in that particular field. He makes them for charity displays, I believe.'
'Well, Mr Scuby, I hope you have managed to sort out the turmoil in this department.'
'Hardly turmoil, Professor Newton. A few irregularities perhaps, before your arrival, of
course. No, I called to enquire if you would look with favour on a proposal, popular in many
quarters I might say, that you be appointed to the University Financial Board.'
As always, Scuby managed to make the word 'board' rhyme with 'bard'. Isaac Newton
delayed his reply for what he judged to be a polite interval and then said:
'Unfortunately there are only so many hours in the day.'
'I am aware of that, Professor Newton, and have often remarked on it to my wife. The
problem for the University is that its most able officers tend very naturally to be the busiest. If
they all refuse to serve, well, you can see what happens,' Scuby concluded, with a note of
appeal in his voice.
'You wouldn't consider appointing Professor Boulton instead?'
'Heaven forbid!' Scuby exclaimed, his mouth remaining open as he pondered the full horror
of the idea.
'I think you'd hardly deny that I've got a pressing state of affairs on my hands just at the
moment, Mr Scuby.'
'Of course, Professor Newton. But pressing affairs come and go. I've seen very many of
them over the years. In the University, however, change comes more slowly but just as
decisively. Shakespeare, you will recall, said: "Small showers last long, but sudden storms
are short".'
'The present situation may fade away, or it may not. We still don't know.'
'I think you will find public interest to be fickle. Unless it is constantly titillated, memories soon
fade.' [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]