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head.
I sighed and pressed my lips against his skin, feeling his pulse beating beneath. My mouth tingled
with warmth. I wanted to kiss him, but that would be&
 Not a good idea, I said, pulling away from Austin.  This is a bad, bad idea.
 Don t run from me. I don t want our last night together to end like this.
 It doesn t have to be our last night.
Austin s voice softened.  It s the only thing I can do to protect everyone and myself. I ll be
perfectly at home in the forest. It s the best place for me.
 But&  I almost said, What about me? Really. I actually thought about myself and how it was
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going to feel to have Austin permanently gone.
He seemed to sense it because he said,  You could walk me to the fence tomorrow after lunch,
when we re supposed to be in arts and crafts. The other night I found a hole big enough to fit through. It
s a last resort, but I m afraid I have to take it.
 You realize I can t save you again. If you re lost in the woods this time you re on your own.
 You hardly saved me last time, he said with a smile.  Don t worry, I nicked a map from Charles.
Had it hidden in his pillowcase. I ll change at night, but I can recover and hike during the day. By the time
I reach the nearest town, the full-moon phase will be over, and I ll be a regular bloke again.
 What if they go looking for you?
 Oh, I m sure they will, but you know how they try to keep things hush-hush around here. It ll be
Winters and Sven at the most, hardly a threat. I ll smell them coming for me and hike in a different
direction.
 When you get to a town? Then what? I asked, that empty feeling starting again.
 At the town I make a collect call to the chemist in London, have him wire me money and FedEx
my serum while I hang out in the local hotel.
It sounded like a terrible plan. He was running. From camp. From me. I could feel tears brewing.
 I ve gotta go.
 Shelby, Austin said, reaching for my hand again.  If things were different, if I could stay& 
 I know. Life sucks, I said coolly.
 Don t forget to meet me tomorrow, Austin whispered.
 Yeah. I stood up and walked down the path alone. Alone wasn t anything new to me. And I
knew it wasn t anything new to Austin, either.
I just didn t expect it to hurt so bad.
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TWELVE
hen I got to girls group the next morning, most of the girls were already there and Dr. Wanda
W
was riffling through papers at her makeshift desk in the corner, no doubt preparing to lead another
scintillating discussion.
Ariel patted the seat next to her.  You missed breakfast, she said.
 Felt sick when I woke up, I explained. I left out the part about not wanting to get out of bed, not
wanting this day to start because it was my last day with Austin. Actually, last morning with him, since he
d be bailing after lunch. Who knew if I d ever see him again? Once he was loose in the woods, he was
out of my life, probably forever. That made me incredibly sad.
 Today we ll be writing letters home to express everything we re learning here at camp. I want
you to choose the person you communicate the least with in your family to receive the letter.
Groans sounded around the circle.
Dr. Wanda held up a hand like she was warding off the negative comments.  I want you to write
the letter as if you would die tomorrow. Tell that person everything you ve always wanted to say.
I raised my hand.  How re we supposed to pick the person?
 You pick the person you can t talk to, Jenna said, breaking it down as if she d done it a hundred
times at a hundred other brat camps.  The one who really needs to hear you.
 Okay, so what if you don t talk to anyone in your family? Ariel said.
Dr. Wanda let out an exasperated sigh.  Choose a family member with whom you d like to
communicate better.
I raised my hand again and said,  What if you 
 Just pick someone! Dr. Wanda said, completely losing her cool.  I m sorry, she added after
noticing our shocked faces.  This week at camp is always tough. Does anyone want to talk about their
feelings?
 I felt hurt when you screamed at us, Sue, a big girl, said.
Dr. Wanda frowned.  No, I mean 
 I felt betrayed, said Callie, the thin blond girl from my cabin.
 You really did hurt my feelings, Sue complained.
Dr. Wanda ran a hand through her frizzy black bangs, trying to smooth them, when it was obvious
only some leave-in conditioner would have any kind of positive effect.  Girls, I m proud that you re
developing the emotional vocabulary we ve been working on. She took a breath.  Shall we concentrate
on writing those letters now?
Everyone shut up after that and got to work, writing on the sheets of cheap notebook paper
Wanda passed out.
 Who should I write to? I whispered to Ariel.
 How should I know? she whispered back.
 Shh! said Jenna, tears rolling down her skinny cheeks.  I m trying to write here.
I gaped at her. She d gone from zero to sobbing in, like, two minutes. Okay&
 Who are you writing to? I said, leaning Ariel s way again.
 My mother, she said.  She lives on Park Avenue with her new boyfriend, Kip Kensington. He s
that dweeb from that stupid game show. Makes Alex Trebek look studly, she added with a shrug.  Just
pick your mom. It ll be easy.
Since my conversation with Austin the other night, I actually had been thinking about my mom.
Take away all the therapy junk and werewolf issues, and this camp would have been somewhere my
mom would have loved. Even when she d been really sick from chemo, Mom used to have Dad help her
to the bench in our backyard garden so she could watch the sunset. She really dug nature stuff.
 You okay? Ariel was staring at me because obviously I d zoned out thinking about Mom.
 Yeah, um, the thing is& my mom s dead, I said quietly, so only Ariel could hear.
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It felt weird to tell her that. I totally expected to see pity in her eyes, but when Ariel looked at me
there was only kindness.
 That sucks, she said.  That really, really sucks.
 Yeah.
 You should ve told me. I mean, all that stuff I said about Austin s mother, she said gently.  If I d
known& 
I managed a little smile because I didn t want her feeling like crap or anything.  It s okay. Really.
Ariel nodded, then glanced down at her paper.  So, um, what about your stepmother?
 Ugh. Priscilla, a.k.a. Honey Bun.
 Write to her. Look. She pointed at Dr. Wanda, slowly moving from girl to girl around the circle
toward us.  Just choose someone.
 Okay, okay. Right then I wrote the date on the top of my paper and then doodled in the
margins, pretending to write, but really I thought about how I was so relieved Ariel didn t make a big
deal out of my mom. For some reason it felt good that she knew. And that Austin knew. Neither one had
drowned me in pity.
 You could still write to your mom, Ariel said, looking up from her half-completed page.  That
would be kinda cool, you know?
 Yeah, maybe, I said. Then I saw how she was totally right. Writing to my mom, even though she
 d never be able to read the letter, would be way better than writing to Priscilla, the one person I never
spoke to at home.
Then again&
I paused, chewing the eraser on the end of the pencil. That stuff about Priscilla was totally wrong;
I was pretty much forced to talk to her a lot. She was the one who criticized my outfits in the morning,
demanded to see my homework, screamed at me to get off my cell phone and to come down to eat my
so-called dinner. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]